I decided since I was sick this weekend, and I made it with great attendance for the past two months, that I would call in with the flu today. So yeah…technically I dont have the flu, today, but i did this weekend, or whatever it was. Maybe its like a pregnancy version of senioritus, or i actually have senioritus with my impending graduation only weeks away now. But I figured being on my feet all day after this weekend wouldnt be a good thing. They’re also taking a test today that I’ve already taken and the project i was supposed to start and finish this weekend only got started yesterday, so im making up for loss time. That and Im kinda getting burnt out on some of the people at my school. Its gotten to a point where as much as I dont want to come home at night, I dont really want to leave for school either. Which really sucks. If i have a good day, then once i get there everything ends out alright. If its a bad day, it just stretches on forever. I’m just sick of the cattyness and silly things girls say and do inspite of others. Its passe, its highschoolish and I’m so over it….and i wish they were too. But apparently our school is way more drama free than other ones…so I should count my blessings. But now with me leaving soon its like, the opposite thing I’ve experienced in schools overseas.
Let me explain. When I would find out that I would be moving somewhere else, it was exciting. And slowly I would start to withdrawl…not dramtically. Just kinda getting excited about the new life, new things, new school, etc. Usually the last time with my friends was happy sad…so no tears. But as soon as i got to my new location, then it would sink in that i actually moved and the life i lived before was long gone and I would probably never see my old friends again. Plus by the time the next relocation came around, if i had any contact with those friends from the previous school, most contact would be stopped by now. Its not a sob story, its just facts and how it happened. I’ve talked to others and its not just me, its how it happened. Its just life in the military TCK world. People always movinng in and out of your lives. Its why we skipped the first three phrases of friendships and became best friends with someone in a matter of days. Its why when a new person moved to school everyone jumped at the chance to say hi and invite them in. Its probably why, yes we had cliques, but in a sense we were all just one big family. So thats what I’m used to.
But now with my graduation in just weeks, im facing something new. Where a lot of the students from my school, whom i used to talk to a lot and stuff, seem to have just withdrawn from me. Whenever certain circumstances or situations arise i hear the phrase said (whether im supposed to be in hearing range or not) along the lines of ‘well shes not going to be here that long’. We even had this month long contest and I worked really hard for it. I worked doubly hard I thought since I dont have an extension family/friend base here. I was litterally passing out business cards left and right. Then the other day i heard people talking about how they hoped I wouldnt win because its not fair that I’m leaving or something. There was a lot of noise going on in the salon, but that was the jist. I still dont know who won, but im guessing its the girl I know I was up against. She is from a small town here and has a huge friend/family base, is always busy with clients, and apparently she made $200 or so more than me in retail/services. Which side note, she was able to get $400 from gift cards she sold in the week of working the desk, and I really dont think thats fair…but whatev.
So anyways, its just annoying and kinda not comforting to go from being one of members of the first class of regency, to be this person that people are already to just let go of. I havent even left yet. You know, I could be like Ryan says I do a lot, over analyzing things and stuff. But I cant reverse what I heard people say. So I just needed a break from that…more than a weekend break.
I also need a break from the living at the inlaws deal. I managed to save a $100 from christmas, and Im going to add that to my ‘get out of jail’ fund. So perhaps i can at least vacate to my parents in Tucson for the month of February. Three weeks of sanity. Thats got to be enough for at least a grayhound, if i cant find a cheap southwest ticket online. I had hoped to go to Disneyland and see my sister, but my mum is taking a job, and I was leaning on the prospect of her going with. I tried to see if Ryan wanted to take Ronan to Disneyland before we go to Hawaii, but he didnt seem too thrilled. I just cant stay in Illinois for 3 weeks until Ryan finishes. And Even if I did something like spending two weeks in Texas and staying at the base lodging, theres nothing to really do while hes in class/work anyways, compared to Tucson. Sigh.
Okay…i think ive taken a long enough break…on to finishing my project. Adieu.
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